Don't be so quick to judgment!

In many high profile industries like sports, aviation and alike there is magnetic appeal to report in the media disparaging blame and judgement of fault or guilt upon the key players, pilots or accused in the matter at question. After all, where's the news unless you can hang someone right?

Well, a pilot in a recent aviation incident felt compelled to voice his dissent in the media, and societies quickness to accuse him as the failure or at fault for the incident/accident that ensued.

Aviation is a strange profession. I love it to death, but the strange part is that if I meet my end in my line of work, it's most likely that I'll be blamed.

I'll be blamed long before any proof is brought forward. I'll be blamed by the media, by the people. I'll be blamed by the passengers if they survive. In a week the data recorders will be analysed and then maybe they'll find that it's not my fault. That I fought for hope amidst hopelessness till my dying breath.

Sadly that won't make as good a headline as much as "pilot error", or "pilot veers off runway when aligning for takeoff".

In fact, it was nothing to do with aligning that brought this ill-fated crew to a halt just short the peripheral wall at Dabolim yesterday (December 27).

How I wish I could explain concepts of asymmetric thrust to the number of people passing silent judgment and being armchair jurors. How do I tell someone about how much thrust 27,000 odd pounds is? How do I reiterate what a reverser unlock is? How do I tell the person that the same 27,000 pounds is now in an opposite direction?

Most of the crowd probably doesn't even know what a moment arm or a couple is. They dropped physics in 8th grade as it was too complex. That said, they blame the human machine who earns his bread and butter, putting into practice what they felt was too complicated.

Jet Airways Goa-Mumbai flight, which skid off the runway on December 27.

To be honest it's disgusting - flying this kind of passenger and taking responsibility for his life for however long it may be.

How do I explain not being able to see three taxiway lights in front of me to a crowd that says, "anyway you autoland in fog"? How?

It's at the brink of frustration that I'm writing this. Back in the day, an old grey instructor told me, "Son, in this world of civil aviation, its best to be a nameless faceless pilot who does his job and goes home!"

I probably didn't understand it then but now, more than ever, I totally understand. The sad part is it doesn't matter if it is a Cactus 1511 with Sully or the 9W aircraft.

Sadly, with technology improving in the home and workplace, the human has become the weak link. Sometimes one must note that the human is the strongest link. Without them shutting down the malfunctioning engine, the plane might have gone into the terminal, increasing the statistics of loss of life

As an appeal to the non-aviation public, believe that we as pilots love what we do and would never put anyone's life in jeopardy. We are sons, daughters, wives, husbands, parents, just like you. We haven't fallen from the realm of Asgard into the helm of these metal ships. It takes years of hard work to achieve it.

Media folk, this is an appeal to you: It's you who have sensationalised our profession with scandals, malpractices, and so on. Paint the right picture of pilots worldwide. Tell people that we are there to save lives, not take them. Make an honest effort to redeem your name when you're standing at heaven's gates, or you'll probably have the boatman remove you from the boat.

Educate the masses - who you manipulate to get more views - to the actual facts of thrust, lift, weight and drag. Tell them, from start to finish, what happens from takeoff to touchdown.

Do tell them that when they see the wind looping out of the window and the tip moving, there is a hand guiding this giant metal bird through the skies.

Stop judging: Pilot of Jet Airways Goa runway crash writes a strong letter

 We see this same quickness to judge in many high profile or sensitive emotional subject including false rap, assault or sexual abuse that can quickly cause hysterical responses to further inflame the false accusation and sensations the rumors, gossip and worst of all press and public opinion.

As a professional pilot and parent of four young children, I witness these types of allegations and false opinions placed upon my peers all the time and its immensely frustrating. Eventually we can get the truth uncovered and the facts laid out for all to see. The damage has been done already, in most cases, when false allegations and disparaging claims are made in knee-jerk haste to capitalize on the media impact or personal attack.

It usually takes years to repair the damage caused by these unsubstantiated quick judgements. Just imagine the irreparable harm it causes to young children as well if they are involved in the blame and shame somehow in domestic situations.

I think this pilots appeals are sound. I believe its a good message and should be expanded towards all areas that require un-biased investigative work and science based facts and findings to get to the real truth(s) before passing judgements. Especially in high profile cases where the media can easily get into the weeds.

Thomas Zerbarini

Also see: Why was Crystal Mangum, in the Duke lacrosse case not prosecuted for false allegations and lying?

How can I learn to open up to my parents?

How can I learn to open up to my parents? Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

Hi Sugat,

Thanks for allowing me to address your question.

It sounds like you and your parents can use a little help with compassionate communication skills. Even if your parents are not completely dedicated or interested in developing better communication skills, you can fully embrace the idea and work on getting in touch with your compassionate communication.

I think you’ll find that once you begin to develop compassionate communication you’ll find that the ADHD, anxiety and depressive “pathologies” may diminish.

I’d like to suggest that you read Dr. Marshal B Rotenburgs book Nonviolent Communication.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, 3rd Edition: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) - Kindle edition by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Deepak Chopra. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

The books preface includes:

An enlightening look at how peaceful communication can create compassionate connections with family, friends, and other acquaintances, this international bestseller uses stories, examples, and sample dialogues to provide solutions to communication problems both at home and in the workplace. Guidance is provided on identifying and articulating feelings and needs, expressing anger fully, and exploring the power of empathy in order to speak honestly without creating hostility, break patterns of thinking that lead to anger and depression, and communicate compassionately. Included in the new edition is a chapter on conflict resolution and mediation.

The book also comes with a companion workbook, (I have not read through this yet).

Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook, 2nd Edition: A Practical Guide for Individual, Group, or Classroom Study (Nonviolent Communication Guides) - Kindle edition by Lucy Leu. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

You read and work through this material with or without your parents. It will also compliment any therapy or professional visits you currently attend or plan to attend.

This book was suggested to me to better get in touch with the more challenging people with which I have to communicate and have relationships. I’ve found that many times the frustrations, anger or depression is due to being unable to affectively communicate our wants and needs. Therefore, what happens is our needs and wants are not being met and our inners person and our relationships suffer.

At the very least, read the sample you can view on Amazon and/or on your Kindle.

I hope that this idea helps and interests you. The book is a very good read and I believe that we can all benefit from approaching all our life’s challenges (even the most difficult) with a positive perspective and desire for a positive solution and outcome.

Thomas Zerbarini

How can I learn to open up to my parents?

Why was Crystal Mangum, in the Duke lacrosse case not prosecuted for false allegations and lying?

Why was Crystal Mangum, the lying accuser in the false Duke lacrosse case not prosecuted?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

False allegations of rape, molestation or inappropriate conduct are very easy claims to make and very difficult to disprove. Further, almost all false accusers go unpunished because the prosecution fails to file charges against the illegal acts. This further promotes more false accusation because the false accuser knows it is highly unlikely they will be prosecuted for their lies.

In contrast, most prosecutors don’t want to file charges against false accusations of sexual abuse or physical abuse. They claim it would, “set a precedence for victims not to come forward.”

Take a look at this article:

A Skeptic Reads the Newspaper: The Anatomy of False Accusations: A Skeptical Case Study - Center for Inquiry

You’ll find it reads to inform us about the anatomy of false allegations and the chilling consequences of an indifferent accuser. It highlights the behavior pattern and mental state found in most false accusers. The accuser never really considers the severe consequences of their actions and the pandoras box of hysteria that follows. There is clear pathology and behavior patterns that suggest weak moral compass in these accusers.

Probably the most difficult prospect facing a false accuser is not that they will be caught in a lie, it’s admitting they are wrong and misrepresented the truth. The false accuser is typically showered with attention, sympathy, support and financial gain. Family and friends rally behind them and the snowball effect of showering the victim(s) with support services and the financial backing of the justice sytem reinforce the false accusers need to hide the lie.

It is very easy to destroy someone with false allegations. It has become a defense strategy and weapon in relationships, marriages and custody battles. The most important factor in these allegations is an unbiased, well educated and thorough investigation like the one in the article above. Unfortunetely, most investigations are not conducted properly. They are conducted with a bias for the accusor(s), many times with untrained investigators or botched investigations. Much like the Duke case, you’ll find an overzealous prosecutor seeking attention and/or votes and playing to the “tough on crime” mantra and putting all accussed of sex crimes, innocent or not, “behind bars.”

There is a movement towards accountability and prosecution of these false accusers. I believe their should be accountability and checks-and-balances that are enforced. False allegations destroy lives, make victims of us all and drains our legal system of investigating real crimes. We should all be well informed and rational when it comes to these serious topics.

Thomas Zerbarini

Why was Crystal Mangum, the lying accuser in the false Duke lacrosse case not prosecuted?

How do I become a pilot? I am looking forward to becoming one, but I am very lost…please help!

My answer to How do I become a pilot? I am looking forward to becoming one, but I am very lost…please help

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

I remember when I was in high school trying to figure out how to become an airline pilot. It all seems so elusive until I started asking questions and digging around like you are doing now.

Let me start off by saying I think your going after a Civil Engineering degree is a great idea. It really doesn't matter what degree you have when you want to become an airline pilot. It does make it easier to master more knowledge of the aviation industry if you get an aviation degree; but, you can study aviation at your leisure. Studying what you love is always easy.

I’ll share with you a previous post that gives links to aviation college resources and aviation flight schools as well. I would recommend visiting several colleges and schools and ask lots of questions. Prepare a folder with questions and a pad to write down you thoughts and observations when visiting.

The main obstacle for most pilot students is the financing and cost of flight training. You will find when you contact the flight schools and colleges that the “lab fees” or “flight training fees” are a big additional cost.

Consider going to a college that offers the civil degree and aviation flight degrees. I recommend this because when you are in college and get you flight training in college, you can use your financial aid and student loans for much of your training costs. Otherwise, you’ll have to self fund all of your flight training.

It is also a good idea to map out you post college and post training goals for gaining experience and your first commercial flying job. As an airline pilot you’ll need 1500 hours of flight time before the airlines can hire you. So, consider being a flight instructor, cargo pilot, bush pilot, etc… Be sure to ask questions on placement assistance and job search for graduates when you go to the schools.

What are the steps of becoming an airline pilot and how much time will it take?

How do I become a pilot?

I hope this helps.

Thomas Zerbarini

How do I become a pilot? I am looking forward to becoming one, but I am very lost…please help

My answer to How do I deal with accidental pregnancy and unexpected fatherhood? Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

Embrace it and enjoy the ride. It will be hard, it will be challenging and it will be rewarding too.

Don’t give up on your goals and dreams and your education. Especially, don’t give up on being involved with your baby and the mother. You must have interest and care for the mother, continue to work on that. There are support groups and resources available for new parents to take advantage of and help process the life changing event.

[caption id="attachment_704" align="alignnone" width="225"] Daddy's Love their Babies![/caption]

Ask for help! Be positive! Strive to be a good Father.

Search the internet for new Dad, Parent support groups.

Here’s a great article on how much a fathers involvement in a childs pregnancy, delivery and upbringing tremendously increases the outcome and success of the child, mother and father tremendously:

Working Dad: Do dads really need support groups?

Thomas Zerbarini

How do I deal with accidental pregnancy and unexpected fatherhood?

How can I best support my 4-year-old son who wants to wear a girls costume for Halloween?

My answer to How can I best support my 4-year-old son who wants to be a Rainbow Dash fairy princess for Halloween? Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

Well, if he has his heart set on that costume and completely understands that others may laugh and snicker, I think that’s GREAT! If it makes him happy and creative that is a great reason to support his decision.

I personally would get dressed up in my costume and wear it when dropping him off and picking him up at school. I’d probably dress up as a superhero like superman or maybe a minion or maybe Megamind...

Have fun with that one and enjoy Halloween.

Thomas Zerbarini

How can I best support my 4-year-old son who wants to be a Rainbow Dash fairy princess for Halloween?

Are some mothers jealous of their daughters?

Answer by Karpagavalli Krishnan:

Unfortunately such mothers do exist.

My friend Kala was the youngest and the only daughter in their home. She arrived quite late in the family, an unplanned surprise.

Kala shared a very special bond with her father, like a lot of girls do. They go out together on hot evenings to have ice creams and for movies on the weekend. He helped her with her Maths and Physics and knew all her friends. Personally, I had huge admiration for the man.

She was her father’s favorite and that caused a lot of jealousy.

Her mother would insist that she sits in the middle seat whenever they go for movies and would want to give inputs during her lessons. It got worse when she grew up as her mother would dictate what she should wear and how she should behave with her father. Innocent hugs and pecks on cheeks were not as innocent anymore.

Her mother would sulk and act passive aggressive in her presence and refused to attend any events that involved her. That means her father would come for her recitations, sports day, report card day and others, while her mother sulk at home.

It made her feel apprehensive whenever she was around her parents. It felt like walking on thin ice. She was careful of what she’d spoke to her father in front of her and would limit her physical gestures.

Even long after her father’s demise, her mother accuses her for stealing her father away from her in a very subtle manner. She’d say things like how her father missed their anniversary celebration because it was her concert night, how her valentines gifts had become smaller because he has to buy something for both of them now.

All conversations about her late father with her mother seemed to go back to one place and time : how intimate they had been before her. The places they had honeymooned and all the romantic things he did for her before Kala was born.

She often tell me these stories of how she believes her mother is jealous of their father daughter relationship. At the beginning it sounds quite petty and I’d often recommend things like “invite your mother to come/join, she feels lonely”, but later I realized it’s not so petty anymore. It’s absurd and a sad thing, that a 45 years old mother says things like “No woman should touch my husband” to her own daughter.

Due to this, Kala and her mother was never on good terms. They tolerated each other for sake of their father and when he died, they just headed different path.

It was good for Kala though that they are no longer on talking terms, nobody needs that kind of negativity in their life.

Are some mothers jealous of their daughters?

Managing Money, Commitment and Exceptions for our teens.

My answer to How do I get my parents to stop promising me money? Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

First of all, you can never expect to “get” someone to stop or start doing something. You’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. Don’t expect the money at all.

I would recommend you look for ways to earn money like getting a job, mowing lawns, raking leaves, shoveling snow, etc… Don’t sacrifice school for a job though. Be sure to keep up with your school work and doing your best.

Don’t make commitments you can’t keep, especially when the commitment depends upon someone else.

These are good lessons for life, commitments and being dependable. They are also excellent traits of successful entrepreneurs. I would recommend you read Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki.

You can get the book on iTunes or Amazon Kindle.

Just read the first two chapters and you’ll see why…I bet you’ll read the whole thing.

Thomas Zerbarini

How do I get my parents to stop promising me money?

I was adopted as a young child. Where do I start to find my birth mother?

Answer by

Thomas Zerbarini:

I would start with asking your current parents, if that’s possible, to help you. Then reach out to the adoption agency and ask them for assistance. many times there is a contact and/or “do not contact” request from the biological parents. The adoption agency may be able to contact the biological parents and find out if they want contact with their biological child.

I would suggest you consider going forward on this with a trusted support structure just in case this becomes an emotionally difficult process for you.

Thomas Zerbarini

I was adopted as a young child. Where do I start to find my birth mother?

Do pilots ever get vertigo?

My answer to Do pilots ever get vertigo?

The short answer is yes. I enjoy the thrill of high places but I do get that vertigo feeling at first looking off a high building.

In an airplane, it can and does happen all the time. In the very beginning of flight training pilots are taught to trust what they see, not what they feel. We are taught early on to trust our instruments.

We are trained in various situations that can introduce vertigo or spatial disorientation. Many of these maneuvers have multiple purposes during training including spatial awareness and orientation. These basic maneuvers include, turns around a point, steep spiral to landing, unusual attitudes and night flying.

During Instrument Rating training (when the only spatial references are the instruments in the airplane) we also introduce partial panel, unusual attitudes, steep turns etc…

The goal in training is to hone the pilots skills in trusting their instruments and ignore the vertigo/spatial disorientation that can occur during flight. Also, smooth and controlled handling of the airplane is emphasized to reduce disorientation.

Here is a short video from Why Planes Crash that deduced how Kennedy Jr may have lost control of his plane:

This is a tragic accident and highlights the need for receiving and completing good training.

One of the methods to reduce vertigo during flight is to minimize your head movement and keep your head straight. Move your eyes mostly and your head as little as possible. Do this during changes in pitch, bank attitude as well as constant turns.

Over time the feelings of spatial disorientation are minimized or go unnoticed due to proper training, experience and exposure to various levels of flying maneuvers.

Thomas Zerbarini

Do pilots ever get vertigo?

What do I do between graduating at Embry Riddle and being hired as a professional pilot?

My answer to What do I do between graduating at Embry Riddle and being hired as a professional pilot?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

First of all, being a professional pilot is a mindset, an attitude an approach to how you act and behave as a pilot. So, you are a professional if you act like one. Check out these Code of Ethics I’ve posted on my blog.

Thomas Zerbarini – Code of Ethics

When you graduate you should be seeking to build your flight time and experience. Being an instructor and teaching is one of the best ways to gain knowledge and experience. Also, check out the many charter outfits out there looking for pilots and first officers. Right now, many charter companies are struggling to find enough pilots.

I’d also recommend doing some volunteer work in your spare time. Local community stuff and some aviation interest at a museum or airport too.

Keep your social media professional too. I can’t stress that enough.

It is a great time to get started as a professional pilot. Keep plugging away at gaining good experience and developing a well rounded “you.”

Thomas Zerbarini

What do I do between graduating at Embry Riddle and being hired as a professional pilot?

My 15-year-old boy sneaks out of the house. What can I do?

My answer to My 15-year-old boy sneaks out of the house. What can I do? Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

15 year old kids crave independence and freedom. They need and want to learn some things on their own.

Consider your statement of “a strict household.” I completely support good discipline, establishing rules and boundaries for children. As our kids get older they need more freedom to express and explore and learn.

I like the way Dr Julie Carbery put it in the article on Family Life,

Enter Dr. Julie Carbery, an adolescent and child psychotherapist, who has seen and heard it all in her twelve years of family practice. "What's going on is freedom. Freedom is cocaine to a teenager. It's intoxicating. It's addictive. And it is often their biggest motivator. They will do anything to get it, and they are terrified of losing it."

This article has great input and advice on managing teen freedom and building trust with your teen.

Freedom The Teen Addiction

Further, a great article on Positive Parenting Your Teen give a good broad spectrum of points to consider as you shift from young child to Tween/Teen parenting skills.

Parenting tweens can be a challenge. Here's how to stay connected.

I’d like to add that listening, patience, non-verbal gestures of Love, and consistency with your growing and changing children is so important. I’d consider them the foundation to good parenting.

Thanks for the opportunity to share and comment.

Thomas Zerbarini

My 15-year-old boy sneaks out of the house. What can I do?

Is there a big demand for pilots as airlines are ordering more aircrafts every year? And will it continue?

There is a huge demand for pilots and it is getting larger year over year. Here are some of the reasons more pilots are needed worldwide:

• Pilot retirements are increasing.
• Global air travel is increasing and demand for more available seats are increasing.
• Years of poor economies, airline bankruptcies, pressures to lower employee costs and eliminate airline employee pensions and retirements has created a “lack of interest” for young folks to consider an lack luster piloting career.
• Security wait times are still a huge encumbrance for air travel. With screening times averaging around 1–2 hours recently, it is the bottle neck or choke point in passenger convenience and increased travel times.

As we develop faster ways to screen passengers more effectively and efficiently, you will see more people returning to airline flying that are now disgusted with the screening process.

This is one of the best times to be and airline pilot and to consider a career as an airline pilot or any aviation career.

If aviation is your passion then choose a path and a career that will make you happy. If you choose a career that is something you really enjoy and makes you happy; you’ll find that you will excel farther, achieve more and be measurably more successful than if you simply chose a job that you thought would make you more money.

So, choose what makes you happy and you’ll find incredible success along the way.

Thomas Zerbarini

I miss my kids too...How emotional it will be to see them again.

How do I cope with having a pilot as a boyfriend? Thomas Zerbarini Comments...

My answer to How do I cope with having a pilot as a boyfriend?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

Well said Lexa.

I can relate to the fact that an insecure partner can have detrimental affects on a relationship. I had partner that was extremely jealous and with low self-confidence. I would experience awful accusations and false suspicions all the time. It was extremely embarrassing and frustrating. I found myself avoiding phone calls with my partner around my crew or in public places to stave off the accusatory questions of "who is that girls voice?" and "what, are you going out with your flight attendant tonight?"

My partners behavior made me less and less interested in her over time and eventually apathy took over and the relationship was doomed.

As a pilot that frequently spends numerous overnights with the crew, and many times they are female, going out to dinner or exploring the area is normal and a friendly way to make your trip enjoyable. Sometimes, I would insist that the crew stay together and have meals together for security reasons in a hostile downtown area.

Likewise, when my partner would go on business trips they were almost always all men. I would expect her to have meals and spend free time with the gentlemen with which she was traveling.

I trusted my partner and had no reason not to trust her. It made me secure in myself and in my understand of the relationship.

My partner didn't and couldn't trust; it fed her lack of self confidence. She should have trusted me because there was no reason not to. Since she chose not to trust, it consumed her and drove a wedge between us. Toward the end, she was hunting for anything to confirm her false suspicions. She was hell bent to prove she was right all along and would not rest until she came up with her ah-ha moment.

So, if you don't have trust in your partner, don't have a relationship with him/her. Further, if your expectations are that your partner never have opposite sex friends or casual professional outings amongst co-workers, then don't engage in a relationship.

Of course some people are not trustworthy and will cheat or be unfaithful. It's just not worth the anxiety and worry to not trust anyone. Start with trust and build on it. If overtime their actions prove untrustworthy, then confront it, forgive it and/or end it and move on. Worry and distrust in a relationship is prime ingredient for failure.

Thomas Zerbarini

How do I cope with having a pilot as a boyfriend?

How do I cope with having a pilot as a boyfriend?

How do I cope with having a pilot as a boyfriend? by Lexa Michaelides Answer by Lexa Michaelides:

How do I cope with having a pilot as a boyfriend?

TL;DR of details: Sometimes boyfriend has stayovers and hangs out with the crew (which includes women) when he's in another country. Recently he hung out with two female flight attendants and they went longboarding and swimming in bikinis. Boyfriend didn't tell OP that it was just him and two women.

I was angry because he dint bother to tell me anything after i found out and confronted him he just blamed it all on me and told me to stop asking so much questions , he started blaming the whole problem on me and then hungup on me over the phone.

I am in a tough situation here, am i wrong for being angry because he did not tell me properly that he just ended up with two girls ?? He had a choice and like he already has a girlfriend and i find this abit inapropriate. Because i know he wont even like it if i went out with guys alone without telling him.

---

This has nothing to do with your partner being a pilot and everything to do with insecurity and lack of communication on both of your parts.

If your partner wouldn't be happy with you going out with your guy friends, he's insecure and jealous. People are allowed to have friends. It's important to have friends. Sometimes friends are of the gender that we happen to be attracted to. That doesn't mean anything because they're friends not lovers or partners. If you're not happy about your partner hanging out with his friends, you're being jealous and insecure as well. What else do you expect him to do, only go out when the men outnumber the women? Sit in his hotel room alone, staring at a photograph of you and crying because he's not allowed to interact with other women now that he has a girlfriend?

Do you two have an agreement where you have to tell one another before hanging out with people of the opposite sex? No? Then he didn't have to tell you that he was hanging out with women, just like you don't have to tell him when you're hanging out with men. You're just hanging out with friends, there's nothing dangerous or scary about that. Either the fear is entirely in your own mind because of your own insecurity or your partner is not trustworthy and therefore not worth your time.

It's childish of you to expect him not to hang out alone with women. It's childish if he would be angry at you for hanging out alone with men. It was childish for you to "confront" him about something that isn't wrong and childish of him to blame the issue on you and hang up instead of discussing it.

He had a choice and like he already has a girlfriend and i find this abit inapropriate.

Please tell me what's inappropriate about having friends while you're in a relationship. Please explain to me why you think that someone has to choose between their partner and having friends of the same gender as their partner. If you trust your partner, neither of those are issues. If you don't trust your partner, then your partner is the issue, not the friendships they have with other people.

Be secure in your relationships or get new relationships.

How do I cope with having a pilot as a boyfriend?

Which one plays a critical role in determining children 's personality? Congenital cause or the way of parenting?

I believe that it is both congenital and parenting that play critical roles in determining personality.

I've discovered that good parenting significantly shapes the personality and behavior of children and can overcome many congenital behaviors.

Children learn how to behave, what is acceptable, what to say and do, adults and parents are significant contributors to child memory, perceptions and behaviors. What surprises me is that peer pressure, even at the toddler age appears to have more influence on what our children say and do and how they behave.

Also, we all perceive things differently and different experiences to draw upon. Even a group or family experiencing the same event will have similar but differing recollections of the same event. There inlays the core of why I believe our personalities are so different.

I find that this website is a good start on understanding and discovering the theories on personality development.

What Factors Affect Personality Development in Childhood?

Thomas Zerbarini

Which one plays a critical role in determining children 's personality? Congenital cause or the way of parenting?

How can an arts graduate become a pilot?

Anyone can become a pilot as a career or a hobby.

If a career is what you're after check out the military branches and/or the civilian route with a professional school. If you simply want to be a pilot for your own personal enjoyment/business check out the local small airports for flight schools and/or instructors.

If you want to become an airline pilot, check out one of my previous blog posts on the steps to take:

What are the steps of becoming an airline pilot and how much time will it take?

I had a number of blog post on this subject so look through the history for more information.

If you have anymore questions, don't hesitate to drop me a comment or message via this post.

Thomas Zerbarini

How can arts graduate become a pilot?

What are the most challenging airports for commercial aircraft?

There are several challenging airports around the world. The Discovery Channel did a nice job in a 1 hour show documenting the top 10 most dangerous airports.

Here is a youtube clip showing some impressive video:



Also, check out this other youtube video: 

 Bush pilots and Jungle pilots probably are the most exposed to strange places to land. Some are on hillsides, some are on river beds, some are in tiny patches of clearing in a dense jungle. Usually, the problem with a landing spot is taking off. It takes more energy and runway to take-off than to land. So, pilots in the Bush don't wan't to get stuck where they can't take off.

 Thomas Zerbarini

  What is the least straight runway that is used for commercial jet aircraft?

What can be said of a parent who does not admit fault or mistakes to their child?

The most obvious problem with an adult not admitting to their faults or mistakes teaches children to be dishonest with others. That it is okay to lie and to be deceitful. It also teaches a child that if you make a mistake, hide it and don't admit it. this invariably results in not learning from their mistakes and looking at the mistake as a failure and reflection on their self esteem.

So, it is important to own up to your mistakes and errors and communicate with our children that:

1. you made a mistake or error
2. apologize if appropriate
3. what you should have done
4. how to correct the mistake
5. finally, what you learned from the mistake and how you will avoid doing it again.

This teaches children honesty and integrity to oneself and others. It teaches a child how to identify their mistakes and how to learn from them. It teaches a child how to build strong relationships with others. It also, builds self esteem and self confidence because the child is less afraid to express themselves even when it involves a mistake or some possible negative issue.

I hope that helps. This is just my way and thinking and what I do with my children.

You have to remember that children are so impressionable and malleable and they learn so much from their parent(s) and other adults around them. They pick up whatever they are surrounded with positive and/or negative.

Thomas Zerbarini

 What can be said of a parent who does not admit fault or mistakes to their child?

Do commercial pilots sometimes forget or not notice if autothrottle is on/off when it should be in the opposite state?

Thinking about Asiana flight 214, and anecdotal evidence of near misses on approach (stall) when autothrottle was believed to be active but was actually off, is it common to misunderstand the state of autothrottle, and is it easy to miss?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

As you can see from your question in reference to the Asiana accident; yes it is possible for pilots to miss something. Although quite rare and unlikely it can happen. With improper training, distractions, complacency or other contributing factors errors are possible. That is why we train and re-train so much. It's why we have multiple pilots, checklists, flows, scans and many other mechanisms to establish checks-and-balances for safety.

Aviation Week did a good article summarizing the NTSB findings which included the main probable cause and the many contributing factors that caused the accident.

NTSB Calls For Special Review Of Boeing 777 Speed Control

With these findings in mind, we can emphasis how important it is for pilots to be diligent and monitor the aircrafts performance and flight path at all times even when the auto-pilot is engaged. Now, professional pilots know this and it is engrained in us. Yet, complacency can be insidious which makes monitoring each other in the cockpit is so important.

Here is an image of a Boeing 777 Cockpit:

At the very top on the glare shield panel in the center is the Mode Control Panel MCP (auto-pilot panel). It looks like this:

On the MCP you'll notice on the left side the A/T (auto-throttle) switch light. This switch light is green when the auto-throttles are engaged. If you read the Aviation Week article I provided above you'll notice that the A/T system was engaged, so the green switch light would be green (on) and if the pilot did a quick scan would see that they were on. Due to the design of the system though, the A/T's were in FLCH "hold mode" and the low speed automatic response was inhibited. Thereby allowing the aircraft speed to deteriorate to a dangerously low speed. The fact that the pilot(s) did not recognize the dangerous low speed nor respond quickly enough is what the NTSB has highlighted as the primary blame for the accident.

Here is a great interactive (click on switches) website that describes the functions of the various controls on the MCP panel:

777 Mode Control Panel ( MCP )

Thomas Zerbarini

Do commercial pilots sometimes forget or not notice if autothrottle is on/off when it should be in the opposite state?

What are the steps of becoming an airline pilot and how much time will it take?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

As with any endeavor or education/training required for a professional career, the steps are all similar:

• Decision/Commitment: Once you've decided to become an airline pilot the next step is to commit to the decision. The reward to any career is your path and the experience you have along the way. I didn't realize this until I began to look back on my career and appreciating all the exciting things I accomplished and learned as I trained and gained my experience. Things like my first lesson, my first solo, my first passenger, my first flight through clouds, my first emergency procedure, my first paying job as a pilot, and so on... Keep the adventure in mind as you navigate through your training and gain your experience.
• Research: Research colleges and flight schools locally and globally. Compare and contrast all the programs. Pay specific attention to fees, total costs, extras, and the amount of flight time you'll get. Also, ask for "average cost" per student and "average flight time" students of the school require to pass their programs. You'll find that they quote the FAA/ICAO minimums when stated program costs and have a small writing disclaiming that most students require more time. Most of all, get good training and education. If a school mentions employment at the end of your training, get it guaranteed in writing. I've seen countless schools offer employment in their brochures to sell their programs when they only have one or two slots for every 30-40 students going through the program.
• Setting Goals: Once you've made your decision to pursue your training/education, set and write down your specific goals to accomplish your training. Map your path to success and constantly update your steps and goals as you progress. Remember, your goals are a fluid thing and you'll need to adjust the steps from time to time as you progress to stay on track.
• Time: Be sure to dedicate the time required to be successful. Becoming an airline pilot can take years. Rarely, it can take just a year or two in some countries with a cadet (Muli-Pilot-License) program or similar.
• Finances: Like most of us, if you're not one of the lucky few to get a scholarship, you'll have to figure out a way to pay for your education and training. The cost can grow to more than $100,000. So, do your research and calculate your budget.
• Discipline: Once you make your decision and dedicate yourself, keep disciplined and stay focussed on your goal. Do your best not to get distracted from your timeline. Remember, most airlines base their rosters on seniority. The sooner you land your airline pilot job, the higher your seniority will be. Hence, better pay, schedules, faster upgrades, better vacations, etc...

The path to the airliner cockpit can be difficult and seemingly impossible to achieve. After all, if it was easy everyone would want to do it.

Good luck on your adventure and career..

Thomas Zerbarini

What are the steps of becoming an airline pilot and how much time will it take?

Why Daughters Need Their Dads

Why Daughters Need Their Dads

I wholeheartedly agree. Positive in, positive out. Garbage in, garbage out. It applies to boys as well. 

Parenting is such huge responsibility that shapes the minds, perceptions, behaviors and futures of our children. Environment is everything. Place a child in a loving nurturing environment with good ethics and morals, the child is most likely to be balanced, positive, loving and successful.

What if we placed a child in the opposite environment?

Consider the affects on a child(ren) that is torn away from their father or mother and surrounded by anger, shame, negativity, sly comments and many other negative stereotyping suggestions about the other parent. Imagine the confusion and conflict that will rage in the hearts and minds of these fragile children.

Eventually, the child will default into survival mode and align with the environment by which they are surrounded. If it's the negative environment, they will eventually act and believe the negativity they are surrounded by. If it's positive, well, you get the idea.

Our minds are incredibly fragile and malleable, especially children. They will believe whatever they are told, or influenced. To surround them with negativity especially when it comes to another loved one can be considered abusive.

So, why would we do anything but surround them with immense love and positive parenting?

Thomas Zerbarini