What subjects should I be good to be an airline pilot am in secondary?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

Thanks for the opportunity to answer your question Jose.

Here are some thoughts on basic skills you should be working on while in school and college. Do the best you can at whatever you do. Starting with school, get the best grades you can. Complete your work on time. Participate in class. Work through those uncomfortable moments like public speaking and raising your hand in class. You'll also want to find ways to motivate you through those boring moments when you're studying. That a great skill to have--being a self motivator and self starter.

Volunteer, help out others in need and do the best you can when you're volunteering. Be on time! In fact, make it a point to arrive a little early to whatever you do or wherever you're going.

You will need a college degree. Take a look at some colleges and their degree requirements. Here is an example from Thomas Edison State College:

Aviation Flight Technology

As you look through the various colleges like this one, you'll see the type of classes you'll be taking to complete your degree. I would recommend you look through a few and get an idea of what subjects you can focus on while your in secondary.

I would also recommend taking a few on-line classes for the experience. When you finally get to an airline, You'll be doing a lot of training and studying on a "home based" learning system. Much of the material is memorization and familiarization of complex systems and procedures crammed into a few weeks of training.

Here is a great link to research becoming an airline pilot and colleges in the US:

- Flight Training

Thomas Zerbarini

What subjects should I be good to be an airline pilot am in secondary?

I am a full time working father of a 1-year-old girl and 3-year-old son. Recently, my 3-year-old-son has been telling me he doesn't love...

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

Miles,
You have some great feedback to your question here. I would simply add my observation with my children.

Children at that age are exploring how their behavior will affect others and ultimately get their needs and/or wants met. They are learning the cause and effect as it relates to their behavior. Children innately want to please their parents and other adults and conform to the expectations placed upon them.

Children have a tendency to test the waters of how parents, siblings, other kids and the world respond to what they say and how they act. If the child receives a heightened response or reaction to what they are saying they will likely repeat the action again and again.

When a child's needs or wants are not being met they will tend to act out in ways they have learned or observed For example: I hate being late, I hate onions, I hate that person, etc... What I believe you are experiencing is your child's way of communicating his anger or frustration.

Becky Bailey, a developmental Psychologist has a great opinion:

How should I respond when my child says "I hate you"

At this age, a child isn't wishy-washy about her feelings. She feels one emotion at a time, and it's all-encompassing. It's why she's happy with a passion or angry with a vengeance. So when things are good, they're very good, and your preschooler adores you. But when things don't go her way, she feels that life is bad, that you're bad — and that she hates you.

Though you may be tempted to, avoid responding to your child's "I hate you!" with "Well, I love you." This will only shame her. And saying, "You know you love Mommy," or "There's no reason to get so upset!" belittles her very real feelings.

Remember that your child is still learning to manage her emotions. She needs help expressing her feelings, and her way of asking for help is to play a kind of emotional charade game: She acts out her feelings, and it's up to you to figure out what she's getting at and how to help her. The best way to do this is to name and acknowledge her emotions without judging them. Show her — without mocking — what her balled fists, scrunched face, and assertive stance look like. Then name the emotions for her: "I can tell from the way you're acting that you feel angry. You seem frustrated that you can't get that dress on your doll." If she nods in agreement, follow up with, "That's very upsetting!"

Next, help her voice her feelings in a more appropriate way: "When you feel this way, use your words to tell me, 'I feel angry. Please help.' " Finally, help your child see her options. "You could ask Mommy to dress the doll," you might suggest, or "We could put away the doll for a little while and read a book together." Giving choices is also helpful when your child lashes out because she can't have something she wants: "Cookies are for after lunch; you may have some grapes or a banana this morning."

Although your child's verbal assaults can be hurtful, do your best not to take them personally. After all, she's merely copying what she's seen you and others do in many situations — that is, translating a strong emotion into a simple word: "I hate waiting for the bus!" or "I hate it when the phone rings during dinner!" for example. Most important, remind yourself that your preschooler's behavior is normal, and in no way indicates how she really feels about you.

A similar yet slight dissenting option comes from Dr. Sal Severe:

When Your Child Says "I Hate You!"

You know you're going to get some fussing and complaining when you tell your kid to turn off the TV or video games, but then one day she lets loose with "I hate you!" Whoa! Why has your sweet child suddenly turned on you--and what should you do to get her to stop the mean language?
"Don't take it personally," says Sal Severe, Ph.D., author of How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! Kids use inflammatory language like this when they're genuinely upset but don't have the tools to express themselves precisely. "Your six-year-old isn't able to say 'I feel frustrated and angry because you won't let me watch my television program.'" To put it simply, she wants you to know she's mad. Severe's advice: Acknowledge her anger calmly, but stand your ground. "Say 'I'm sorry you hate me, because I love you very much.' Then add, 'It's okay that you're angry, but you still have to turn off the TV.'" You can mention that everyone gets upset occasionally, but it's not all right to take it out on someone else.
If your child declares she hates you when you discipline her, don't up the ante: "You're teaching her that she can push your buttons, and this gives her too much emotional control," Severe says. You want to remain calm to show her that you're the one in complete command of the situation. Also resist the urge to tell her in the middle of a screaming fit that she doesn't really mean "hate"--this will demonstrate that her word choice has power and she'll use it again and again. Later, when things have settled down, you might explain that "I'm angry" or "I'm disappointed" are better alternatives.

How you ultimately interpret your child's behavior depends completely on understanding all the facts and background of what your dealing with. I hope this helps get you closer to that understanding.  At this age children have simple responses or expressions and they tend to repeat what they've heard, learned by observing their parents, siblings and surroundings so far in their short lives.

Thomas Zerbarini

I am a full time working father of a 1-year-old girl and 3-year-old son.  Recently, my 3-year-old-son has been telling me he doesn't love...

What is it like to be in an aircraft lavatory during turbulences or cabin decompression?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

Reading your question immediately brought me back to my teen years and a funny story.

When I was a teenager, I would travel occasionally on Delta Air Lines and Eastern Airlines between New York and Tampa Florida. I loved it. I would look forward to every second of each trip from packing to unpacking. It was clear, flying was in my blood.

One of my pre-planning tasks I would do was keep an eye on the weather for the days leading up to my trip. I loved the bumpy rides and look forward to finding out there would be pop up thunderstorms forecast for my flight. As any regular flyer knows, during the summer months in Florida there are almost always cumulus clouds and scattered thunderstorms from 3pm to 7pm. So, on this particular hot summer flight from New York to Tampa I knew it was going to be a fun ride over Florida.

On the day of my flight, I was sure to get a back seat where the bumps, swinging and swaying would be felt the most. Unfortunately, that's where the smoking section was back then too. Yuk! The takeoff, climb and cruise were smooth and uneventful. A huge meal was served, check this out:

except I remember a chocolate layer cake that day. Anyway, the descent came a little early because the Stewardesses (we call them flight attendants now) were collecting trays and drinks early. A sure sign that the fun would be starting soon.

The captain came on just as we were beginning our descent and turned on the seat belt sign stating that we'll have some turbulence on our descent. Immediately following his announcement, the Stewardesses finished collecting everything and took their seats. My face was buried in the window trying to catch a glimpse of the clouds we were approaching. Just as I saw the first glimpse of some pretty large cumulus formations I smiled and looked into the cabin to see if anyone else was sharing the same joy I was feeling. Wouldn't you know it, as I was smiling away a young women walked passed my seat heading to the bathroom. I tried to say something but she had already passed. I had a really good idea what was to happen next.

As soon as we entered the billowing clouds we were being tossed about like a rag in the wind. I enjoyed every moment; but, all I could think about was that poor women in the lavatory that decided to ignore the seat belt sign and not head the Captains warning to the expected turbulence.

After about 10 minutes of the whoops-e-daisy's, the young lady finally came out of the lav. She was completely soaked with, well use your imagination. I could tell she was embarrassed an nobody said a thing. I thought to myself, how many times I've seen folks ignore those seat belt signs and directions from the crew to stay in your seats and keep your seat belt fastened when things were going to get rough.

The real impressive thing was that the stewardesses also had the same judgmental thoughts I did; yet, they kept their composer and were completely professional and accommodating. They did everything they could to clean her up and make her feel comfortable so that she wouldn't leave the plane all disheveled. A real class operation and dedication to customer service I thought as a youngster.

The moral to the story I suppose would be to listen and follow the guidance and direction from the flight and cabin crew. It may seem repetitive and routine. We [pilots] can't alway predict every moment that turbulence or and emergency will occur. We shy on the safe side most of the time to ensure your safety. So, head our warnings and guidance. One out of Ten times we'll be right and you'll be glad you kept your seatbelt on.

Fly Safe!

Thomas Zerbarini

What is it like to be in an aircraft lavatory during turbulences or cabin decompression?

What happens to airline pilots when the plane they are type-rated to is retired by the airline?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

The scenario you are asking about is called "displacement." The current aircraft you are flying is being retired so all pilots assigned to that aircraft are displaced to other equipment, seats and/or bases that their seniority can hold.

Displacements work in inverse seniority order unless a senior pilot voluntarily chooses to be displaced first.

What will happen is a trickle down effect as pilots move around to different aircraft. Other pilots will be negatively affected now that there is a reduction in equipment unless the airline is replacing the retired aircraft with other aircraft. Either way the displaced crews to different aircraft will have to go through training to be qualified and typed on the different equipment.

New type training typically takes two to three months to complete. Here is a link to that process previously answered.

What is the process for an airline pilot transitioning to a different type aircraft?

Thomas Zerbarini

What happens to airline pilots when the plane they are type-rated to is retired by the airline?

If a parent constantly overrules the other parent's rules, what effect does this have on children?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

If a parent constantly overrules the other parent's in rules, discipline,  general acceptable behavior, etc... you have a recipe for a disastrous and disrespectful family unit.

If the parents do not respect each other, especially in front of their children, you are teaching the child to also disrespect the parents. This can also set up the behavior pattern for the child to disrespect the babysitter, teachers, group leaders and so on.

Parents will do this consciously or subconsciously to control the environment, establish authority over others, or use as a passive aggressive tool against the other parent. It leads to fighting and all parents should Stop Fighting In Front of the Kids.

Parents also use it during divorce to alienate the other parent and turn children against the other parent.

There are some great resources out there to help with this and similar situations. Most of what you will find out there talks about co-parenting in divorce; but, the techniques can be used to help a marriage and communicate better. Even Dr Phil has some great advice with Do's and Don'ts Co-Parenting with Your Ex:

As hard as it may be, sit down with your ex and make a commitment to set boundaries about your new relationship as co-parents.

Don'ts:

• Never sabotage your child's relationship with the other parent.
• Never use your child as a pawn to get back at or hurt your ex.
• Never use your child to gain information or to manipulate and influence your ex.
• Never transfer hurt feelings and frustrations toward your ex onto your child.
• Never force your child to choose a side when there's a conflict in scheduling or another planning challenge.
• Never turn family events into pressure cookers.
• Never depend too much on your child for companionship and support because you're hurt and lonely.
• Never treat your child like an adult because you're lonely or just want help.
• Never become so emotionally needy that your child develops feelings of guilt if he or she spends time with others.
• Never convert guilt into overindulgence when it comes to satisfying your child's material desires.

There are two important rules concerning children during times of crisis and instability in your family:

1. Do not burden your children with situations they cannot control. Children should not bear such a responsibility. It will promote feelings of helplessness and insecurity, causing them to question their own strengths and abilities.

2. Do not ask your children to deal with adult issues. Children are not equipped to understand adult problems. Their focus should be on navigating the various child development stages they go through.

Dos:

• Commit to learn, adopt and apply all the principles set forth in Family First.
• Sit down with your ex and make an affirmative plan that sets aside any differences you may have and focuses instead on meeting the needs of your children.
• Agree with your ex that you absolutely won't disparage each other to your children. Further, forbid your children to speak disrespectfully about the other parent, even though it may be music to your ears.
• Negotiate and agree on how you can best handle such things as handing off the children for visitation, holidays, or events.
• Agree on boundaries and behavioral guidelines for raising your children so that there's consistency in their lives, regardless of which parent they're with at any given time.
• Negotiate and agree on the role extended family members will play and the access they'll be granted while your child is in each other's charge.
• Communicate actively with your ex about all aspects of your child's development.
• Recognize that children are prone to testing a situation and manipulating boundaries and guidelines, especially if there's a chance to get something they may not ordinarily be able to obtain.
• Compare notes with your ex before jumping to conclusions or condemning one another about what may have happened.
• Although it may be emotionally painful, make sure that you and your ex keep each other informed about changes in your life circumstances so that the child is never, ever the primary source of information.
• Commit to conducting yourself with emotional integrity.
  

Focus your efforts on what your children need most during this difficult time: acceptance, assurance of safety, freedom from guilt or blame for their parents' break up, structure, a stable parent who has the strength to conduct business and the ability to just be a kid.

For more, read Post-Divorce Parenting Mistakes and Strategies or pick up your copy of Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family.

Also, check out Effective Co-Parenting, Part Two for great guidelines for cooperation in a marriage or divorce.

Thomas Zerbarini

If a parent constantly overrules the other parent's rules, what effect does this have on children?

Should I have another child?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

If that's what you really want to do and your kids and partner are in line with your baby fever, their really shouldn't be a reason why not if you're given the green light by your physicians.

You may want to consider the long term effects of your decision like college years for all your children and your personal retirement. What are your plans for you and your partner?

Thomas Zerbarini

Should I have another child?

What is the process for an airline pilot transitioning to a different type aircraft?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

Dave and Tim have great answers to: What is the process for an airline pilot transitioning to a different type aircraft? I'd like to add one point myself to the answers if I may.

At the completion of Initial Operating Experience (IOE) in the seat and type you are upgrading and/or transitioning to, a new captain may have a few restrictions on him (by the airline, FAA or both per company operating procedures) until he gets settled into his new aircraft/seat. Additionally, there are CFAR pairing restriction for new captains and FO's. which are:

Code of Federal Regulations

§121.438   Pilot operating limitations and pairing requirements.
(a) If the second in command has fewer than 100 hours of flight time as second in command in operations under this part in the type airplane being flown, and the pilot in command is not an appropriately qualified check pilot, the pilot in command must make all takeoffs and landings in the following situations:
(1) At special airports designated by the Administrator or at special airports designated by the certificate holder; and
(2) In any of the following conditions:
(i) The prevailing visibility value in the latest weather report for the airport is at or below  3⁄4 mile.
(ii) The runway visual range for the runway to be used is at or below 4,000 feet.
(iii) The runway to be used has water, snow, slush or similar conditions that may adversely affect airplane performance.
(iv) The braking action on the runway to be used is reported to be less than “good”.
(v) The crosswind component for the runway to be used is in excess of 15 knots.
(vi) Windshear is reported in the vicinity of the airport.
(vii) Any other condition in which the PIC determines it to be prudent to exercise the PIC's prerogative.

(b) No person may conduct operations under this part unless, for that type airplane, either the pilot in command or the second in command has at least 75 hours of line operating flight time, either as pilot in command or second in command. The Administrator may, upon application by the certificate holder, authorize deviations from the requirements of this paragraph (b) by an appropriate amendment to the operations specifications in any of the following circumstances:
(1) A newly certificated certificate holder does not employ any pilots who meet the minimum requirements of this paragraph.
(2) An existing certificate holder adds to its fleet a type airplane not before proven for use in its operations.
(3) An existing certificate holder establishes a new domicile to which it assigns pilots who will be required to become qualified on the airplanes operated from that domicile.
[Doc. No. 27210, 60 FR 20870, Apr. 27, 1995]

Thomas Zerbarini

What is the process for an airline pilot transitioning to a different type aircraft?

What is the difference between the security procedure for those flying private jets and the security procedure for those flying commercial?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

Let me simply say that you are being watched. Some areas more than others.

It would be bad form to discuss security procedures for our transportation system. It is held on a need to know basis just as any security protocol would be in today's environment.

I would stick to research on the available public government documents via the internet to find answers to your questions there. I would keep your curiosity limited to traveler information:

Traveler Information

and, Tom's reference to Security Guidelines for General Aviation Airports

Page on tsa.gov

The TSA mission and vision are very clear. Protect the Nation's transportation systems to ensure freedom of movement for people and commerce. Provide the most effective transportation security in the most efficient way as a high performing counterterrorism organization.

As you can see, the TSA is a counterterrorism organization with vast resources at its disposal. Even though it can be frustrating at times to deal with, I very glad we have them there to protect our aviation infrastructure.

Thomas Zerbarini

What is the difference between the security procedure for those flying private jets and the security procedure for those flying commercial?

How can I expose my 6 year old to those who are significantly less fortunate without creating fear or putting him in danger? He already s...

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

This can be a very tough question to answer. There are so many variable that play into a child's behavior. I would suggest working on his sense of entitlement and expectations.

We are clearly in an age of entitlement and our children are growing up in it.  Here's a great article from Grand Parents .com that looks at and give fantastic strategies at handling children's expectations.

How to Manage Kids' Expectations - In an Age of Entitlement

My favorite strategy is the gift giving strategy. I feel very strongly that gifts should be surprises and not simply a result of child's request, especially if the child is pestering or demanding the gift. Of course we want to give our kids what they want; but, a surprise fulfillment means so much more. I'll also wait for a big accomplishment in school or change in behavior to give those gifts.

My second thought is to develop the child's generosity in sharing. Not to give it all away, just to give and be nice to those who have less. Couple this with volunteer work from time to time like food drives for church/boy scouts, toys for tots, veteran monument cleanups, Make a Wish, Canines for Kids, etc...

There are so may great non-profit groups that kids could get involved with at any age to help raise funds or just spend time with other less fortunate children.

Thomas Zerbarini

How can I expose my 6 year old to those who are significantly less fortunate without creating fear or putting him in danger? He already s...

What is it like to be a pilot of a commercial airliner?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

It's the coolest most rewarding job and career I could ever imagine. I think the next coolest thing would be an astronaut or a search and rescue helicopter pilot.

The success of each routine flight that happens thousands of times a day is the culmination of so many factor working together to ensure the safe and seemingly clockwork operation that makes up a typical airline flight. As a pilot, your are the receiver of all those "services" that provides you with the tools to make that flight go smoothly. It is a team effort to pilot a commercial airliner.

The flying part is the most exciting a rewarding. I particularly enjoy the low visibility days when all the flying is conducted in the clouds and fog. It's the training, knowledge and skill that allows pilots to "fly by instruments" in this no/low visibility environment. Pilots know exactly where they are and where they are going at every moment in these conditions. When we pop out of the clouds during landing at 100 feet or even 50 feet and land the airplane safely and accurately it is a huge sensation of accomplishment and success. Even if its simple for us to do after so many years of training and experience, its still a rewarding rush after every flight.

Thanks for asking that question.

Thomas Zerbarini

What is it like to be a pilot of a commercial airliner?

My boyfriend never compliments me, has put me down about my weight in the past, and he knows it upsets me. I asked him why he never compl...

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

I've had experience with that exact same issue. I'm certain that it was not always this way in your relationship. Poor communication and lack of respect for each other can be very insidious over time. Resentments and apathy can fester and you find it getting worse the longer the issues are not addressed and resolved.

My first inclination is to recommend ending the relationship and to move on  to more positive people in your life.

Alternatively, if you have years invested and see clearly there is positive potential, it's not completely hopeless or the end. If you are both willing and committed to at least 4 months of counseling to help start to communicate freely and honestly, then go for it.

Keep in mind it will be very difficult in the beginning. You will both bring to the surface those regressed issues and/or resentments that have brought you to the negative behaviors you are experiencing today.

I for one do not give up easily in my relationships. I was brought up to seek every avenue to repair a relationship and work things out. Unfortunately, that has backfired on me once or twice and found myself in a relationship I should have ended long ago. That is mostly due to the fact that the other person in the relationship was not willing nor capable to commit to open/honest assessment of themselves and their contribution to the relationship. So, you may find that you are willing and able; but, you will never change or convince someone else to do the same if they are not interested.

Thomas Zerbarini

My boyfriend never compliments me, has put me down about my weight in the past, and he knows it upsets me. I asked him why he never compl...

How can I get over my parents getting old and sick?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

I would suggest to simply embrace it and value the time you are able to spend with them. Make the best of it and find balance in your life so that you do not neglect yourself as you attend to your family.

I miss my parents and wish I had more time with them when they were getting older and their health was failing.

Keep in mind as you consider how to process your feelings. Your parents will be going through many emotions and worries as they face aging and illness. You might find that the little things you do that make them happier or able to age gracefully, will most likely help you as well.

Thomas Zerbarini

How can I get over my parents getting old and sick?