It's Never Too Late to Make a Change

This heartfelt story from an alienator that lost the most precious things in her life is a powerful message. She identifies the source of her own personal motivation: she believes she is right and justified in her behavior. She only "see's and listens to" things and people that support her beliefs. Once down that rabbit hole Alice, it's hard to see and hear the facts and truth. It's hard to come back to reality, though its not impossible.

It's never too late to step back, look at the big picture and listen to your heart and the good intensions and Love from the other parent. If the alienated parent is honorably fighting to see their children, you better believe they LOVE those kids just as much as you do and has their best interest in their hear and mind.

This article is worth the read for anyone involved in alienating children from another parent.
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I Would Give Anything to Go Back

(Not the actual author, in order to protect her identity)
Author: A grieving mother
Editor: Ben Willaims
Date: 4/19/2016 (Re-post)

I saw you guys in the Huffington Post, and I wanted to share my story so you can share this with every single parent you possibly can. I’m no role model, but my message is important. There isn’t much that angers me anymore, except when two parents can’t set their differences aside and do what is best for THEIR child. I’ll be blunt. I was an "alienator". I played the whole ‘false allegations’, and ‘he did this’, ‘he did that’ game, which was encouraged by my lawyer.

I DID think that she was more “mine” than she was “his” because I loved her so very much. I wanted to mold her into what I wanted her to be. I didn’t think there was anyone who could care for her or love her like I could. I can’t tell you why I thought that or what could have changed my mind back then. But, because of MY selfish actions, I lost custody of my precious baby girl when she was 6. This is why your story in the news really hit home with me. It brought me to tears for everyone involved. I was so caught up in bitterness and being right, that I stopped seeing my little girl. I hated my ex so much, and I hated that he “won” even more. I cried every single day. And, I had to play the victim. Pity from others was the only thing bringing me comfort at that time. It’s behavior that, now, is hard for me to even comprehend. I don’t think I’m a bad person? At least, I certainly never intended to be.

It had been almost 5 months since I had seen my little girl when she and her Dad were hit by a semi truck. She was 7. I died that day too. Even then, I tried to blame him for it. Initially at least. I needed someone to blame. Now, I struggle daily to not blame myself. Obviously, I’m not saying that my little girl and her Dad would still be here today if I had done things differently, …but when they were hit, they were on their way to see her Counselor… no doubt, it was counseling needed because of MY actions. So, that is tough for me to swallow.

PARENTS, life is so short! And it can be taken in an instant! Life is never easy, and relationships are never easy. But, you need to figure it out! You DO NOT love your child more, and you aren’t the better parent. You are not helping your child by keeping them from half of their family, I don’t care what your lame, self-centered excuse is. We all have our good qualities, and we all have our problems. Perfectly imperfect. And, when YOU choose to fight and withhold your child, this is bringing out the worst in YOU anyway, so then your child has no positive role model in their life at all.

Learning about what my ex went through during the alienation and learning what a great father he was, was devastating to me. Simply because I couldn’t get past “my issues” and figure out how to communicate, I had to learn after his death what a great man he was and how much pain I caused him and our daughter. Don’t wait until you’re in my shoes and all you’re left with is thinking “I wish I could have the chance to do things differently.” There’s only one reasonable excuse for you to say “I can’t make things better TODAY” … and that is when death takes that opportunity from us. Everyone else, you have absolutely NO excuse.

Source: https://www.timetoputkidsfirst.org/i-would-give-anything-to-go-back

Thomas Zerbarini

What's your opinion on United Airlines forcing a passenger to give up his seat?

What's your opinion on United Airlines forcing a passenger to give up his seat?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

Unfortunately, it's an airline industry practice. You'll notice that the airlines with the cheaper fare structures bump the most passengers because the have to push full capacity on the airplane to make up for the lower fares.

Every flight has a history of passenger "no shows." To avoid significant lost revenue the airline tracks flights and determines the average number of passengers that do not show up for the flight. The airline will then consider overbooking seats equevalant to the average no-show amount to fill the airplane. The alternative is non-refundable tickets if you "no show" for your flight. Even if your late and just miss your flight.

Airlines often oversell flights, end up bumping passengers

I wonder if the airlines will come up with a better way to handle this. Maybe better statistical analysis, designating bump rate tickets, standby tickets, more high price refundable tickets and/or less cheap seats.

As far as the behavior by the passenger and the airport security officer, I believe the behavior was deplorable. It should not have escalated this far. The passenger should have never been boarded in the first place if there was a chance of him or anyone getting bumped. This is a customer service problem that became a security and safety problem that the Captain and crew had to consider.

Since the matter escalated and the passenger refused to follow crew instructions and became adamant in refusing to deplane and cooperate, the passenger has to be considered a safety/security risk for the flight by the Captain.

As captain and crew we absolutely hate these situations. When possible mistakes or poor customer service, weather delays, maintenance delays, over-bookings etc… happen, it can escalate passenger stress and frustrations. I’m certain this incident will be investigated thoroughly and new protocols and staff training will be put in place to mitigate these escalations in the future and hopefully handle over-bookings more efficiently.

Thomas Zerbarini

What's your opinion on United Airlines forcing a passenger to give up his seat?

We should be Living for Giving to each other.

I think Tim is experiencing, in a way, what I have experienced these last few years.



My plight is a little more dramatic than Tim's; but, what I'm learning is essentially the same.



I have experienced betrayal, loss, anguish and uncertainty. Instead of lashing out and losing myself to sadness, I've chosen to embrace and learn more from myself and how and why people live and act the way they do. I want to understand people and our relationships. Even in great despair, war, family loss there is always the ability to find Joy and happiness in our hearts and not succumb to hate and anger. It's more uplifting to smile and help someone, be kind and considerate.



I've found that those whom have lost so much or have little for themselves tend to be the first to give, help and lift other up.



Keep going Tim. It's uplifting to see more positive "giving" stories about how we help each other.