Are some mothers jealous of their daughters?

Answer by Karpagavalli Krishnan:

Unfortunately such mothers do exist.

My friend Kala was the youngest and the only daughter in their home. She arrived quite late in the family, an unplanned surprise.

Kala shared a very special bond with her father, like a lot of girls do. They go out together on hot evenings to have ice creams and for movies on the weekend. He helped her with her Maths and Physics and knew all her friends. Personally, I had huge admiration for the man.

She was her father’s favorite and that caused a lot of jealousy.

Her mother would insist that she sits in the middle seat whenever they go for movies and would want to give inputs during her lessons. It got worse when she grew up as her mother would dictate what she should wear and how she should behave with her father. Innocent hugs and pecks on cheeks were not as innocent anymore.

Her mother would sulk and act passive aggressive in her presence and refused to attend any events that involved her. That means her father would come for her recitations, sports day, report card day and others, while her mother sulk at home.

It made her feel apprehensive whenever she was around her parents. It felt like walking on thin ice. She was careful of what she’d spoke to her father in front of her and would limit her physical gestures.

Even long after her father’s demise, her mother accuses her for stealing her father away from her in a very subtle manner. She’d say things like how her father missed their anniversary celebration because it was her concert night, how her valentines gifts had become smaller because he has to buy something for both of them now.

All conversations about her late father with her mother seemed to go back to one place and time : how intimate they had been before her. The places they had honeymooned and all the romantic things he did for her before Kala was born.

She often tell me these stories of how she believes her mother is jealous of their father daughter relationship. At the beginning it sounds quite petty and I’d often recommend things like “invite your mother to come/join, she feels lonely”, but later I realized it’s not so petty anymore. It’s absurd and a sad thing, that a 45 years old mother says things like “No woman should touch my husband” to her own daughter.

Due to this, Kala and her mother was never on good terms. They tolerated each other for sake of their father and when he died, they just headed different path.

It was good for Kala though that they are no longer on talking terms, nobody needs that kind of negativity in their life.

Are some mothers jealous of their daughters?

Managing Money, Commitment and Exceptions for our teens.

My answer to How do I get my parents to stop promising me money? Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

First of all, you can never expect to “get” someone to stop or start doing something. You’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. Don’t expect the money at all.

I would recommend you look for ways to earn money like getting a job, mowing lawns, raking leaves, shoveling snow, etc… Don’t sacrifice school for a job though. Be sure to keep up with your school work and doing your best.

Don’t make commitments you can’t keep, especially when the commitment depends upon someone else.

These are good lessons for life, commitments and being dependable. They are also excellent traits of successful entrepreneurs. I would recommend you read Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki.

You can get the book on iTunes or Amazon Kindle.

Just read the first two chapters and you’ll see why…I bet you’ll read the whole thing.

Thomas Zerbarini

How do I get my parents to stop promising me money?

I was adopted as a young child. Where do I start to find my birth mother?

Answer by

Thomas Zerbarini:

I would start with asking your current parents, if that’s possible, to help you. Then reach out to the adoption agency and ask them for assistance. many times there is a contact and/or “do not contact” request from the biological parents. The adoption agency may be able to contact the biological parents and find out if they want contact with their biological child.

I would suggest you consider going forward on this with a trusted support structure just in case this becomes an emotionally difficult process for you.

Thomas Zerbarini

I was adopted as a young child. Where do I start to find my birth mother?

Do pilots ever get vertigo?

My answer to Do pilots ever get vertigo?

The short answer is yes. I enjoy the thrill of high places but I do get that vertigo feeling at first looking off a high building.

In an airplane, it can and does happen all the time. In the very beginning of flight training pilots are taught to trust what they see, not what they feel. We are taught early on to trust our instruments.

We are trained in various situations that can introduce vertigo or spatial disorientation. Many of these maneuvers have multiple purposes during training including spatial awareness and orientation. These basic maneuvers include, turns around a point, steep spiral to landing, unusual attitudes and night flying.

During Instrument Rating training (when the only spatial references are the instruments in the airplane) we also introduce partial panel, unusual attitudes, steep turns etc…

The goal in training is to hone the pilots skills in trusting their instruments and ignore the vertigo/spatial disorientation that can occur during flight. Also, smooth and controlled handling of the airplane is emphasized to reduce disorientation.

Here is a short video from Why Planes Crash that deduced how Kennedy Jr may have lost control of his plane:

This is a tragic accident and highlights the need for receiving and completing good training.

One of the methods to reduce vertigo during flight is to minimize your head movement and keep your head straight. Move your eyes mostly and your head as little as possible. Do this during changes in pitch, bank attitude as well as constant turns.

Over time the feelings of spatial disorientation are minimized or go unnoticed due to proper training, experience and exposure to various levels of flying maneuvers.

Thomas Zerbarini

Do pilots ever get vertigo?

What do I do between graduating at Embry Riddle and being hired as a professional pilot?

My answer to What do I do between graduating at Embry Riddle and being hired as a professional pilot?

Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

First of all, being a professional pilot is a mindset, an attitude an approach to how you act and behave as a pilot. So, you are a professional if you act like one. Check out these Code of Ethics I’ve posted on my blog.

Thomas Zerbarini – Code of Ethics

When you graduate you should be seeking to build your flight time and experience. Being an instructor and teaching is one of the best ways to gain knowledge and experience. Also, check out the many charter outfits out there looking for pilots and first officers. Right now, many charter companies are struggling to find enough pilots.

I’d also recommend doing some volunteer work in your spare time. Local community stuff and some aviation interest at a museum or airport too.

Keep your social media professional too. I can’t stress that enough.

It is a great time to get started as a professional pilot. Keep plugging away at gaining good experience and developing a well rounded “you.”

Thomas Zerbarini

What do I do between graduating at Embry Riddle and being hired as a professional pilot?

My 15-year-old boy sneaks out of the house. What can I do?

My answer to My 15-year-old boy sneaks out of the house. What can I do? Answer by Thomas Zerbarini:

15 year old kids crave independence and freedom. They need and want to learn some things on their own.

Consider your statement of “a strict household.” I completely support good discipline, establishing rules and boundaries for children. As our kids get older they need more freedom to express and explore and learn.

I like the way Dr Julie Carbery put it in the article on Family Life,

Enter Dr. Julie Carbery, an adolescent and child psychotherapist, who has seen and heard it all in her twelve years of family practice. "What's going on is freedom. Freedom is cocaine to a teenager. It's intoxicating. It's addictive. And it is often their biggest motivator. They will do anything to get it, and they are terrified of losing it."

This article has great input and advice on managing teen freedom and building trust with your teen.

Freedom The Teen Addiction

Further, a great article on Positive Parenting Your Teen give a good broad spectrum of points to consider as you shift from young child to Tween/Teen parenting skills.

Parenting tweens can be a challenge. Here's how to stay connected.

I’d like to add that listening, patience, non-verbal gestures of Love, and consistency with your growing and changing children is so important. I’d consider them the foundation to good parenting.

Thanks for the opportunity to share and comment.

Thomas Zerbarini

My 15-year-old boy sneaks out of the house. What can I do?

Is there a big demand for pilots as airlines are ordering more aircrafts every year? And will it continue?

There is a huge demand for pilots and it is getting larger year over year. Here are some of the reasons more pilots are needed worldwide:

• Pilot retirements are increasing.
• Global air travel is increasing and demand for more available seats are increasing.
• Years of poor economies, airline bankruptcies, pressures to lower employee costs and eliminate airline employee pensions and retirements has created a “lack of interest” for young folks to consider an lack luster piloting career.
• Security wait times are still a huge encumbrance for air travel. With screening times averaging around 1–2 hours recently, it is the bottle neck or choke point in passenger convenience and increased travel times.

As we develop faster ways to screen passengers more effectively and efficiently, you will see more people returning to airline flying that are now disgusted with the screening process.

This is one of the best times to be and airline pilot and to consider a career as an airline pilot or any aviation career.

If aviation is your passion then choose a path and a career that will make you happy. If you choose a career that is something you really enjoy and makes you happy; you’ll find that you will excel farther, achieve more and be measurably more successful than if you simply chose a job that you thought would make you more money.

So, choose what makes you happy and you’ll find incredible success along the way.

Thomas Zerbarini